The Hosers Guide to Canada...

(or the Tim Sanderson scrapbook)

Growing up, Tim had trouble finding a best friend. Since his parents felt sorry for him (especially since his sister is so hot and Tim, well..) So the story goes that his parents shopped the countryside for the largest moose slice they could find, tied it around his neck, and prayed that someone (or some animal) would play with him. Eventually, Tim found his best friend in the world, Bob. In fact, here's a picture of Tim and Bob right after they found each other.

As Tim and Bob grew stronger in their friendship, they were inseparable.  In fact, they participated in some wacky Canadian medical study to see how friends got along long-term if they were surgically joined at the shoulders. The experiment went fairly well, and in fact is responsible for Tim's incredible ability to walk backwards. Here is Tim and Bob in one of the "happier" times of the experiment.

Eventually they separated, however, and as the sad story goes, Tim left Bob for his imaginary friend, Mikey the Moose, whom as the tale goes (at least in Tim's mind) had the largest moose cock in all of Canada. This made Tim very proud. In fact, his ability to "handle" Mikey was the driving force behind Tim's self-declared nickname "Tim the Mighty". Here is a sketch of Mikey (sans large cock).

And so the story goes that Tim "the Mighty" Sanderson, filled with new enthusiasm and confidence, went out into the world in search of new adventures. Here is Tim singing, dancing, and stargazing with some of his new friends. It was a magical time.

Which leads us to today...Tim has become a very successful consultant and has a beautiful girlfriend (his first!). She was attracted to his nerdy, debonair style and quick wit, but especially to his collection of special colored pens. (ed. those things are damned impressive). Here is Tim and his gal in one of their more intimate moments...

Some of Tim's favorite links:

http://www.epicurious.com/run/fooddictionary/browse?entry_id=7503

http://www.pollara.ca/new/LIBRARY/surveys/dec24.htm

Efffff.....whyyyyyyy.....eyeeeeeeee

The proper spelling of Canada is C eh, N eh, D eh

Tim's favorite joke:

Every nation in attendance at an international symposium on elephants had to deliver a report on the animals. France's report: "The Love Life of an Elephant." America saw the economic values in: "Raising Elephants for Fun and Profit." Great Britain had their own unique view: "The Elephant and the British Empire." The Canadian report was, of course, typically Canadian... "The Elephant: A Federal or Provincial Responsibility?"

Typical conversation of Tim and Kate and an unknown Canadian guest at his dinner party...